Nein Strokes

The young German woman visited USA. She was walking through the countryside and decided to cut off a corner and walk through someone's land. But she was noticed by the owner, who caught her and cut a switch, going to punish her for trespassing.

"Nein! Nein!" she exclaimed in horror.

"Well, I was going to give you only five strokes." the man said "but if you insist on nine..."

Yes, she knew she had trespassed and deserved the whipping, so she put her hands on her thighs and pushed her bottom out, hoping that her heavy denim shorts would soften the nine strokes of the switch. She also looked urgently around, embarrassed at the thought that a wandering walker would see her getting whipped. Just then, a large and woolly black dog - a Burnese Mountain Dog - ran behind the hedge. It was such a big  dog she misidentified it, looked at the man, and shouted "Bear." 

Thinking his luck kept getting better, the man said once again. "Well,  if you insist, you can taking your switching on the bare."