Spankonomicon

An Obvious Thing

 

Beach Biker-Babe

"AUA!!! That hurts! AUA!!! Stop this! AUA!!! This is illegal! AUA!!!"

"Well, Miss, what is really illegal - to ride a motorcycle on a beach! And you'd better to thank God, that it's a public beach, and that's why I can't pull down this pants to give you a proper spanking you really deserved!"

Quality Check

"OWIE!!!!"

"What did you to say? A Pandarian quality is a synonym to a bad-quality?! Okay. How do you like this hairbrush? It's a ten minutes over, already, and it still didn't broke! What about to test it a bit longer?"

 

A Warm Reminder

"Watch yourself, predator! If you ever again try to show your teeth in my house, I'll throw you away just like this!"

Troublesome Date

 

Praise the Sun

"I swore an oath, that I won't ever raise my sword against anyone, but a servants of evil... But my scabbard is free from my paladin vows!"

In the Name of the Emperor!

"OW!!! That hurts! OW!!!"

"Awow!!! My poor bottom!"

"As it was written in a God-Lion-Emperror Holy Scripture, wolves are the most inclinable to heresy and Chaos corruption! So, my sacred duty now is to punish you two properly and bring you back on the right path, even while there's no direct evidence of your heresy! If I had such a proofs, you two would face the complete flagellation procedure!"

Crossover

"I have no idea, what a digimon you are, but next time you'd better to challenge someone from your weight class!"

Wood Justice 2: Revenge of the She-Wolf

 

Feel the Difference

"AUTSCH!!!!"

"So, as I said, here in Scotland we don't use those terrible British canes."

"AUTSCH!!!"

"I hope, you're feeling relief, Miss Krüger, don't you?"

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo! AUA!!!!""AUTSCH!!!!"

"So, as I said, here in Scotland we don't use those terrible British canes."

"AUTSCH!!!"

"I hope, you're feeling relief, Miss Krüger, don't you?"

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo! AUA!!!!"

Swinging a Maid

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo! AUA!!!"

"I see, you like swinging, Miss Krüger, don't you? Of course, it's much more fun then doing your chores, cleaning my house! Okay, feel free to swing as long, as you want! And I'll be happy to happy you to swing again and again!"

"AUTSCH!!!! I am sorry! AUA!!!! AUTSCH!!!!"

Double Blunder

 

"AU!!! Mein Popo! AU!!!" *thoughts* "Well, I surely need to diarize all my dates... Making a date with a two boys in the same time in the same place was bad enough already, but I also was late! Ugh! And this two assholes made an agreement..." *SLAP!!!* "AUA!!!!"

Proof of Fidelity

"AUTSCH!!!! Mein Popo! AUA!!!"

"Well, I hope now, when my husband holds you in position to present your slutty German ass to my good old English leather belt, you have no more delusions, which of us he does really love! No more 'he loves only me', silly German girl!"

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Gott! AUTSCH!!!!"

Know Your Limits!

"So, Miss Krüger, are you still sure, that you can know about a life at a ranch much more, then I?"

"AUTSCH!!!! AU!!! AU!!! Mein arme Popo! Au!!! Au!!! Absolutely not, Herr Richards! Oh, mein Gott! It burns so bad! Boohoo!!!"

"Good! Now you'd better put yourself together and get back to the chores, if you won't get your arrogant German ass get the belt for a second time right now!"

"Mein Gott! Ja, Herr! Au! Au! Au!"