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Showing posts with label hot buns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hot buns. Show all posts

Friday, September 5, 2025

We are Number One!

Dame Athanasia: "Are you, uh, a real villainess?"

Livonna: "Well, uh, technically... nah."

Dame Athanasia: "Have you ever dreamed of conquering the whole world?"

Wolffang: "Nah."

Dame Athanasia: "Have you ever hunted for the forbidden knowledge?"

Kajira: "Nah, nah."

Dame Athanasia: "Alright. I can see that I will have to teach you how to be villainesses."

Hey!
We are number one, hey!
We are number one
Now, listen closely

Here's a little lesson in trickery
This is going down in history
If you wanna be a villain number one
You have to find a knowledge which is forbidden

Just follow my moves and sneak around
Be careful not to make a sound, shh
Oh, shit!

Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba, we are number one, hey!
Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba
Villain number one!

We are number one, hey!
We are number one
We are number one

Ha, ha, ha! Now, look at this map that I just found
When I say: "Go", be ready to pull. Go!

Not that lever!
Whoops!

Ouch!
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Owie!
Howl!
Ouch! Oh! Let's try something else... Ouch!

Hey!

Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba, we are number one, hey!
Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba
Villain number one!

Now watch and learn, here's the deal
We'll replace the key, while he will sleep from pills, ha, ha, ha!

What are you doing?!

Hey!

Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba, we are number one, hey!
Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba
Villain number one!

Hey!

Hey! Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba, we are number one, hey!
Ba, ba-biddly-ba, ba-ba-ba
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba

We are number one
We are number one
We are number one, hey, hey!

Sunday, July 20, 2025

One Noisy Night

A lone motorcycle's engine was roaring in the night like a thunder. Gertie was always proud about the sound of her favourite bike, now tried to ride not to fast, hoping that that will make the roar of it quieter at least a bit. She started thinking, that it was not the brightest idea to agree to undergo an initiation rite of a college sorority. Why the hell did she, a badass biker-babe, need any stupid initiations? But she agreed, and now she needed to get some prized apples from Robinson's orchard. She even didn't know, who those Robinsons are and why their apples were prized at all.

Gertie stopped near the fence, turned the engine off and listened the night sounds carefully. She hadn't hear anything suspicious. No voices or foot steps. Just like her night ride didn't wake anyone. Gertie smiled and came closer to the fence. She noticed a tree, which branch was overhanging right over the fence, making it the Best way to sneak into the garden. Gertie smirked and started climbing.

Gertie carefully sneaked right over the fence and looked around. She noticed an apple tree, which was growing very close to the branch she was climbing over. The blonde smirked. She even didn't need to get to the ground. All she need - to get an apple from a nearest brunch and then - sneak out, climbing the same brunch. She smiled to herself and carefully hanged down, trying to reach a ripe red apple.

Suddenly a night wind blowed, disturbing the trees. Gertie lost her balance and grabbed an apple tree she was trying to reach, hoping not to fall. A moment later she was already hanging on the apple tree branch. Then she heard a loud crunch, and the tree suddenly fell down. Gertie screamed in panic before heavily landing on the ground. She moaned in pain, rubbing her sore butt. She was lucky the apple tree wasn't very high. The blonde carefully stood up, cursing and moaning. Suddenly she heard a dog barking, and from the currant bushes appeared a very angry German shepherd. The dog growled at the girl, showing it's teeth. Gertie screamed in panic and ran away at breakneck speed.

Gertie ran for her live. The dog was chasing her closely. It tried to bite her several times, but luckily for Gertie the only thing which was ruined by it were her denim pants. Finally Gertie reached the fence, but when she was almost close to it, the dog caught her by her boot. The blonde squirmed out of it, but before she could stand up, her chaser's jaws trapped her other leg. And again, luckily for her, it caught her boot. So Gertie hardly squirmed out of it and finally started pulling herself up to get over the fence. Suddenly she felt a very sharp pain in her buttock. The girl screamed out loud and almost flew over the fence. Only after a heavy and painful landing on her already sore backside she finally noticed, that she jumped over a wrong fence. Now she was in another orchard. And the dog started barking like a mad, being furious that the trespasser escaped.

Julia slept peacefully in a chair by the fireplace. Suddenly she awoke, almost dropping the book, which was laying on her knees. Julia looked around, now recalling, how she was reading "Gone with the Wind" all the evening. And fell asleep in her favourite chair once again. She yawned and finally understood, what woke her up. Her neighbours, Robinsons, dog, Wrax, was barking like a mad. And it's barking was sounding suspiciously close. Just like it was barking at someone, who was in her, Julia's orchard. Julia carefully looked out from the opened doors and noticed a suspicious silhouette.

Moaning and cursing, Gertie stood under an apple tree, catching her breath. She sobbed, looking at her badly torned jeans. Her boots became a trophy of the damned dog. And she had no idea how to get out from the orchard she accidentally broke into. In the dark of the night the orchard looked like a dense forest. Gertie sobbed a bit more and went wherever her eyes looked, feeling chilly earth under her now bare feet.

"Hey, you! Don't move! What do you think you are doing here?" a female voice called her out. Gertie looked around and saw a girl in red dress. Julia frowned, seeing the trespasser. "What are you doing in my garden?" she asked strictly and frowned a bit more. She was still a bit sleepy, so she wasn't completely sure, that her eyes were not lying to her, but this blonde with mohawk was looking suspiciously familiar.

"The dog was chasing me and I just tried to escape..." Gertie replied. A moment later she realised, how stupid it was to say about the dog. But she hadn't any better excuse anyway. Especially after she recognise Julia. They were a college mates. And since it was looking like Julia still hadn't recognise her, Gertie now prayed for the moon to stay clouded.

"The dog, ha?" Julia tried not to laugh, which was not so easy. Wrax really had a frightening appearance and knew very well how to growl and bark just like he wanted to kill. But he was actually one of the most kind dogs she ever knew. So she didn't doubt, that Wrax just tried his Best to scare Gertie away, but never tried to actually harm her. If he wanted so, she just would never escape from him. "So, you sneaked into my neighbours garden and then got into mine?" Julia wagged her finger at Gertie. "And what were you doing in my neighbours garden? Wait a minute! Gertrude Mitchell?! Is that you?!"

Gertie blushed.

"Julia, please..."

"It is 'Miss Hudson' for you!" Julia interrupted her "And you know what? I think I will just call the police. And if you'll try to run away, I'll just tell everyone in college, that you had sneak into my garden."

Gertie whimpered.

"Please, Julia, don't call the police! And don't tell anyone! I beg you! I really didn't mean any harm! I just..."

"Enough!" Julia shook her head. "I don't care! You are a trespasser! And you should be punished!" suddenly her brown eyes sparked with a mischief "Well, you know what? I have an idea. I will not call the police or report anyone, if you'll agree to allow me punish you my way!"

Gertie sighed and nodded.

"Okay, Julia..."

Julia bent and picked a few switches from the ground.

"Take your pants down, Gertrude! I'll give you a good birching!"

Gertie's blue eyes opened wide.

"What?! Are you serious?!"

Julia nodded.

"In dead earnest. Now drop your pants down, or I will just call the police!"

Gertie sobbed in shame and pulled her jeans down, revealing a pair of plump milky-white buttocks and cammo panties.

Julia patiently waited Gertie to strip herself from her jeans and to bent over. She wanted to punish this "wannabe tough bad girl" for a very long time. And now she got her chance! When the blonde was finally ready to her punishment, she came closer and raised her hand with the bunch of switches high.

"I guess a six of the Best will be enough." she said "Bend over, bad girl!"

Gertie sighed and bent over, touching her toes. Julia giggled and gave Gertie's plump buttocks the first stroke with the birches. Gertie screamed in pain out loud and wagged her bottom a bit, while a bright red marks started appearing on her skin. Julia nodded and gave Gertie another stroke. Gertie screamed even louder. At the third stroke the pain made her jump from the position, clutching her backside, which now was bright pink and ever started turning into a shades of red.

"Back in position, Gertie! We are not over yet," Julia said strictly, trying hard not to laugh "And now I need to start all the punishment over again."

"Julia, please, no! This hurts really bad!" Gertie protested, rubbing her sore bottom.

"Do you want me to call the cops? Or to tell everyone about this?" Julia smirked, waving the switches. Gertie growled, but bent over again. Julia smirked wider and raised the birches. "And now the first stroke once again!" she giggled. This time Gertie broke from position at the fourth stroke, making Julia to start all the punishment over once again. And then poor trespasser couldn't stand the pain at the third stroke once again. And then - at the fifth one. And then - again at the third. Gertie's screams and weeping were echoing all over the orchard and around.

A several big nasty bruises almost finished forming all over Gertie's now terrible sore buttocks, when Julia finally sighed, no longer trying to hide her joy.

"Well, It was supposed to be just six strokes, and now even I lost count." she giggles. "Okay, I suppose if I'll keep trying to give you your six of the Best without your breaking from the position, we'll spend all night like this. So put your pants on and go away. I'll show you, where the exit is for you to avoid any more troubles!"

Wincing, sobbing and whimpering, Gertie hardly put her ruined jeans on and hopped in place several times, rubbing her terrible sore bottom. Julia laughed, watching Gertie's brat war dance. When the "bad girl" finally got herself together, Julia escorted out from her orchard.

Very carefully Gertie tried to sit on her motorcycle, but the pain in her freshly birched buttocks made her almost jump up. She whined in pain, clutching her bottom, almost tipping her motorcycle over. Julia laughed, watching, how Gertie, after an almost minute of rubbing her sore bottom, finally started the engine and escaped in the night, standing on foot pegs and trying her Best not to sit down.

Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Secrets of Rhokar the Wise


 The evening was quite and beautiful. The sunset blazed. The air was clear and fresh. Three fancy girls overflew through evening shadows over a one broomstick and landed in right near the entrance of a dark cave. One of them, a tall slim brunette in a silk clothes with a frill looked around and smiled, showing a pair of sharp needle-alike teeth. Dame Athanasia, the vampire. One of her companions, a slim redhead girl in a pointed hat and a black dress, Kajira the witch, smiled back, taking her broom as a stuff, and turned to the third girl. The one, which looked the most fancy of them. Fully naked, but almost full covered with a thick grey fur, with a pointy wolf ears and bushy wolf tail. Livonna, the she-werewolf. She nodded and took a deep smell of a cool evening air.

"Yes, he is there!" she pointed her finger with a sharp wolf claw at the cave "I can smell that bear musk! This is the cave, we are looking for, milady!" Livonna did curtsy, looking at Dame Athanasia.

The vampiress contentedly nodded.

"Finally!" she said "The last grimoire we need is there, in what's left of the library of Rhokar the Wise. Once - one of the most powerful and a wisest of the druids, and now - a beast alike troglodyte!" she laughed "You two, come and get the grimoire! Now!" Athanasia commanded.

Livonna and Kajira nodded and sneaked into the cave.

"Is she always that nasty?" the witch whispered.

"Yes" the she-werewolf nodded "You'd better to get used to this."

They sneaked quite deep in the cave before hearing a heavy steps, and a wide silhouette appeared from the darkness. A tall, heavy bear made a step from the shadows, sniffing the frowzy cave air and growled in anger.

"Who dared to trespass!" he growled "Who wants to feel the wrath of Rhokar the Wise!"

"Get the book, I'll deal with him!" Livonna winked to Kajira and jumped forward, shifting to her whole wolf form "You shall not pass!" she grinned "Better turn you back and run!"

Rhokar looked up and down at the wolf-girl, sinisterly growled and came closer. Livonna growled back and jumped at her opponent, widely opening her mouth. Her teeth snapped right in front of the bear's nose. Druid growled in anger and pushed Livonna back with his paw.

Meanwhile Kajira reached her hand to the grimoire.


Suddenly Rhokar's eyes flashed green, and Livonna felt, how the lower part of her body became womanish, while the top part of it stayed wolfish. Before she figured out, what could that mean, she found herself over Rhokar's knee. His mighty paw heavily landed over her plump bare bottom. She-werewolf howled in pain and kicked her womanish legs, while a dark pink pawprint appeared on her plump buttock. Another slap, another sharp pain, another pawprint over a milky-white flash. Livonna tried to struggle, and Rhokar just pressed her down more hard, scratching her defenceless bottom with his claws. Livonna howled in pain. And with each heavy spank her howl became more and more desperate.

And while Livonna was taking the rap, Kajira sneakily took the book. She took a quick glance at Livonna, who was howling in pain and desperately squirming and kicking over the bear's lap. The witch wanted to help her partner in crime but surely had no wish to share her fate, so she decided just sneak away, but before she could made any more steps, the bear sensed her.

"What?! More trespassers?!" he growled, delivering the most hard strokes over Livonna's buttocks and terrible scratching them with his claws, making poor she-werewolf howling as loud as she could "Would you dare yo think, you can just stole from me?! No way, lass!" his eyes flashed green again.

Suddenly a grapevine near running witch moved...


Before Kajira even realised, what had happen, she found herself in a very uncomfortable position, almost naked and immobilised by the enchanted grapevines. And before she could pull herself together, she felt a sharp stinging sensation in her buttocks. A vine started whipping her! Kajira screamed in pain and tried to struggle, but all was useless. The vines were holding her tight and switching her vulnerable buttocks without any mercy.


Hearing her minions painfully screams, Dame Athanasia bitten her lips. Her genius plan was all screwed up again! She stamped her leg. All went wrong. She took a deep breath and stepped into the cave.

Kajira's and Livonna's bawling was so loud, that the vampiress easily sneaked into the deep part of the cave. She saw the book dropped by the witch, when a grapevine caught her. Athanasia looked from the witch to the she-werewolf and thought to herself: "Well, you two should know better, when you went to get the grimoire! Now I'll take it, and for you two this would be a good lesson!" She grabbed the book and ran away like a lamplighter, but after just few steps she felt, how vines caught her hands and legs, making her to bend in a very uncomfortable position. Few seconds later the bottom of her britches was thorn away and a switchy vine started whipping her mercilessly. Athanasia howled in pain, unable to struggle.

Rhokar growled. He focused at controlling the vines and lost a moment, when she-werewolf, who he thought was already almost helpless, suddenly squirmed away from his lap. He turned around and saw, how she thorns the vines, which were holding the witch apart.


Rhokar growled that lout, that all three girls shivered in fear. Livonna released Dame Athanasia from the vines, and the vampiress quickly grabbed the book she came for. All three girls freeze, looking at the druid, approaching to them.

"You'd better just give me back my grimoire, and I'll let you three go!" Rhokar said, making the grapevine moving "Or else you all won't be sitting down for a month at least!" he grinned.

Livonna stepped forward "I will make you pay for this spanking, stinking bear!" she growled angrily.

Athanasia just cuddled the book up stronger.

"I think, it's time to unarm you!" Kajira cast a fireball, aiming it right to grapevine's branches. She didn't notice a hive of a wild bees, which was placed right there...


A hive felt right between the druid and the girls. Rhokar stepped back. His eyes flashed green, while the bees were flying out from their nest. They turned right to the intruders.

"Oh, Darkness, run!" Athanasia screamed and ran away, still holding the book. Kajira followed her lead, forgetting about her own broom and dress.

"Bees?! No! Not the bees! Not the bees!" howled Livonna and turned around, but since she was too close to ruined hive, she couldn't escape the wrath of its inhabitants. She ran for her life, jumping and bawling, when angry bees were stinging her. They easily reached her vulnerable buttocks, which were still furless, and stung poor she-werewolf without any mercy. With a loud screaming and howling all three girls ran out from the cave and disappeared in the night shadows.

Rhokar heard a loud splash, which could mean only one thing - the bees chased Livonna right in the river. The druid shook his head and returned to his lair.


Almost already in the morning Dame Athanasia and her minions finally reached their lair. Weeping in pain and carefully rubbing their sore bottoms, the girls lay on their bellies right on the floor.

"My bottom! My poor bottom! Damned bees! I hate bees!" Livonna complained, moaning in pain. Her buttocks were terrible swollen from the stings and fully covered with a scratches from the bears claws.

"Oh, shut up!" in unison said both Athanasia and Kajira and opened the grimoire. Livonna gazed at them both in disbelieve.

"Now let's check, where we need to continue my quests!" Dame Athanasia said "Looks like the next thing I need to get is in the dwarven hands! Perfect! No we know, where to move right after we all be able to sit down!"

Friday, August 19, 2022

An Offer That Couldn't Be Refused

Livonna nervously took a smell, but the wood's forest was smelling only mushroom, rotten trees and dampness. She took a smell again, trying to catch a barely perceptible breeze. And she smelled a kind of an ancient magic. She nodded too Dame Athanasia. They were at the right way. Vampiress smiled and gestured she-werewolf to go first. So Livonna did. The smell of the strong ancient magic became stronger, and the stronger it felt, the more powerful the old trees became. The heart of the woods surely was much more immemorial then the ruins of the temple, which was hidden there since the dawn of time.

"Do you really think it is a good idea, milady?" Livonna asked nervously, rubbing her plump bottom, remembering how terrible all turned to her last time she trespassed the sacred border.

"You'd better not to challenge my orders, useless beast!" Dame Athanasia raised her hand, and Livonna immediately clutched her bushy tail behind her legs. "After all, now I came with you, since you just can't do anything not screwing all over!" vampiress said "This time all you need is just to distract that dryad, nothing more! And I'll do all the job! Now go forth and do your Best! Or I'll whip you myself!"

Livonna sniffed, but nodded and went forward, just like she was all alone. Just like the last time she saw the ruins and the sacred chalice, which was still on the altar, which was surround by a few pillars left from the temple. She-werewolf grinned contentedly. And just like the last time she saw a motion in an old stump surely ill-omened for her. The stump was growing. Few seconds later a slim beautiful girl with a green leaves on her head appeared right in front of Livonna. The dryad.

 "Stop right there, traitor!" she said, painfully pulling Livonna by pointy ear "Had you forgot a lesson I taught you, wolf maiden! Just turn your back and walk away! You should be a nature keeper, just like me!"

"Bullshit! Just don't step my path, talking wood! I came here for this chalice, and I will take it with me, do you like this or not! Just step aside, or I'll crush you!" Livonna growled. Dryad slapped  her in face.

 "Do you really want me to repeat your lesson?" she asked in calm voice. She turned her head to the chalice just in time to saw Dame Athanasia crawling to it. "Sadly, you don't leave me any other choice!" dryad said and waved to an old tree. She-werewolf whinged.

Dame Athanasia even didn't realized what had happened. The tree grabbed her and tore bottoms of her britches off right when she was in one step from taking the chalice. And in the next moment she found herself somewhere above the earth. Vampiress heard her werewolf-sidekick's moanful howl, but before she did turned her head too see her, a long, whippy, biting switch suddenly moved and stroke her buttocks very hard and painful. Both girls moaned and sniffed in pain, trying to break the branches, which were holding them, making their bottoms easy targets to the switches, but those were too thick and held them very tight, while a switchy branch continued whipping their fenceless buttock, making them red and sore.

And while vampiress and she-werewolf were taking the rap, an almost invisible shadow appeared right near the altar. Screams of two girls receiving such a waling, like there will be no tomorrow, made her quiet laughter almost inaudible.

 "Oh, please, just don't tell me, you two didn't deserve this!" she whispered to herself "I'd like to watch this forever! What a shame my plan includes my help to you two! Oh, yeah! Whip that flea-bitten mutt good! And don't forget about her bloodsucking mistress! Just few more minutes! Just few more strokes! About another ten switches, I guess!"

Suddenly she saw, how a tree brunch stretched out right in her side.

 "Oh, Darkness, no!" Kajira the witch yelped and grabbed the chalice.

Suddenly she felt some cold air breath went through the woods. Dryad froze in place. The green leaves over her head became red and yellow, and she just fell on the ground like a felled tree. And the tree, which was walloping vampiress and she-werewolf suddenly stopped and dropped whining girls right in the thorny bushes, which were growing under it.

Kajira just couldn't help herself, but laughed out loud, seeing how Athanasia and Livonna jumped out from the bushes, clutching their sore buttocks, not just striped by the switches, but also full of spiky thorns. And she couldn't stop laughing all the time, while partners in crime were dancing the brat war dance. It took some time, while all the girls finally put themselves together. Kajira, smiling victoriously, showed the chalice to still weeping Athanasia and Livonna.

"This is, what you two came for, isn't it?" the witch said "Dame Athanasia, I suppose?" she curtsied "Kajira, the great and the terrible at your service! And I have an offer you couldn't refuse!"

Dame Athanasia whimpered and nodded.

The way the lair was quite painful and uncomfortable for Athanasia and Livonna. And Kajira just couldn't help herself to stop laughing at their discomfort. But when they finally reached the lair, the witch quickly suggested to vampiress to help her, an as soon as Athanasia stripped naked and lay down on her belly, Kajira started carefully removing thorns from her sore buttocks.

"So, what... Ow! ...do you want? Ow!" vampiress asked, squirming in pain a bit.

"Oh, not as much, as you could thought, milady!" Kajira carefully removed few thorns one by one "I'm not asking for any more reward but become a part of your crew!"

"Oh, really? Ow! And why... Ow! ...do you think... Ow! ...I will allow you... Ow! ...to join? Ow!"

"Because I know, that you need a magician, milady, and I am one!"

"Well... Ow! And why do you... Ow! ...want to join me? Ow!"

"I know, what you're planning, milady. Oh, don't look at me like that! You should stop discussing your plans that loud, if you want prevent them from being uncovered too early!" Kajira giggled "You have a very huge ambitions, milady! And I'm pretty sure, that when you'll become the Dark Lady of the Realm, you'll need not just a bodyguard, but also a court witch."

"Ow! Do you really want to be just... Ow! ...number two, Kajira? Ow!"

"Let's just say, it's much more safe to be just number two, milady."

After she removed all the thorns from Athanasia's bottom and put some healing salve over it, Kajira suggested her help to poor Livonna, who was not just whipped much more bad, then the vampiress, but also got thorns no just in her buttock but also in her back and thighs.

"Poor little wolfie!" the witch whispered "You mistress doesn't appreciate you at all! She even didn't ask me to help you, seeing your suffering!" she very carefully removed few thorns from she-werewolf's plump buttocks "You'd better stay close to me, if you want to free yourself from her tyranny one day!"

 

Story inspired by Kalidwen's game Elven Kingdom (which you may found here - https://kalidwen.itch.io/elven-kingdom)