Kissing the Gunner's Daughter

"Wow! Mummy, who's that young lady?"

"She's a German cantiniere, who watered down a beer for Her Royal Highness's dashing sailors, my dear kid. And this is the well deserved satisfaction!"

Payback

"What do you think, Molly, is Belinda's butt red enough?"

"For all those detentions, we were staying because of hers cheating? Hell, no!"

Agreement

"OWEIE!!! Okay! Okay! All the hares are yours! HOWL!!! Vixen! Dear! EYOOW!!! And all the quails too! All the quails in the forest! Please, no moOWEIE!!!!"

BLM

"And this is, what my ancestors and my kind had felt day by day! Now I hope you have learned, how bad is making fun of BLM!"

Music Party

 

Language Barrier

*in Spanish*
<"Oh, God, how I hate you all, gringo-tourists! You know nothing about our music, or our culture at all! How many times had I said, that if anyone will ask me to play "Macarena" one more time, that one will pay for that dearly! But Holly Virgin, I can't shoot a woman, so..."

*in German*
"AUA!!! Please, enough! This is scandalous! AUTSCH!!! Nein! No! No more! Were those pesos not enough? AUA!!! Herr Spielmann, I will pay more! AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo! AUA!!! Nein! Enough, please! AUTSCH!!! Anyone, stop him! AUA!!!"

The First and the Last Warning

"I don't care, where you're from, girl, but if you can't read the signs, I'll explain you more simple! My land is my property! And I won't see any arrogant tourists hanging around on my land! Is that clear? If I'll ever catch you again, I'll give you a good dozen of the carpet beater!"

"AU!!! AUA!!! Mein Popo!!"

Overall

"Well, Miss Krüger, if you're thinking that a farmworker may dress like this, I'll give you a punishment which suits the Best for such a suit!"

You'd Better Be Hurry!

"Au! Mein Popo! But how do you expect me going out with my bottom looking like this in my swimsuit only?!"

"It's not my problem Miss shoplifter! And you'd better to hurry up go out my store, before I'll count to ten, or I'll not just strap you naughty criminal butt again, but also call the police! And if I'll ever see you in this store ever again, I'll think, that you have come for another thrashing!"

Tail Trouble

"AROOOWWW!!!!!!!"

Sore Loser

"Aber... Scheiße! Maybe this is not that necessary... Hey!"

"Hold still, Belinda! You said, you'll strip me naked in one round. But who's in her birthday suit now? But after all your attitude this is barely enough! Well, girls, what do you think, what should I do with this naughty German tourist, who thinks she can make fun of a Belgian girl on the Belgian land?"

"Warm her fat German ass good, Mariam!"

"Yes! Tame this Hun!"

"Nein!"

"Too late, Belinda! You'd better bend over the table, because if my friend would need to help you with that, I'll show no mercy to your stupid naughty ass!"

A Mistake

 

Fat-tie, Fat-tie, Tee-Hee, Fat-tie!

Belinda utterly loathes having to do any form of physical exercise. With a figure like hers it’s embarrassing trying to compete with her fellow pupils, plus she hates the exertion involved. She far prefers stuffing cream buns into her face — which she does at every available opportunity. At netball practice she hides around a corner hoping she won’t be noticed. But who’s this coming now but the Headmistress herself!

"What’s this?! Trying to get out of netball practice again, Miss Krüger? You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself, you lazy girl! I expected more diligence from a German exachange student! And what I got? This is the third time this term I’ve caught you hiding around here! Do you never stop eating, you disgusting creature?! Follow me into the gymnasium at once!!"

Not for the first time today, Belinda the school fattie looks and sounds as if she’s about to be sick.

"Over the horse with you, you useless good-for-nothing lump of lard! You know perfectly well that cutting a lesson is a serious offence — but you are still trying to avoid PE and school games, and you are still eating in unauthorised places and during lesson time too! I can see that writing lines has had no effect at all. It’s the good old British cane for your fat German buttocks, Miss Krüger! I warned you you’d get Baker's dozen strokes if I caught you again, and so it shall be…"

Poor Belinda’s gym knickers have ripped from the unaccustomed stress of bending over, but to make her plight even worse the Headmistress makes her pull them down and straddle the vaulting horse with her feet off the ground. Flab wobbling like an inedible jelly, a hideous sight to see, the lazy disobedient fattie now has to endure thirteen absolutely agonizing blazing cane stings across those outsize buttocks.

And what a fuss she makes!!

Universal Language

"I did warned all of you, that when I'm saying 'stop talking!', 'silence!' or 'focus on your work!', you'd better listen to me, didn't I? Well, since your German ears don't understand English, your German asses will know taste of the American paddle!"

Shoplifter's Weep

 

Match Point Made

"AU!!! But Herr Richards... AU!!! ...did you not said... AU!!! ...that I have no problems with... AU!!! ...technique? AU!!!"

"Yes, Miss Krüger, your technique is good enough! But you have a lack of will to win! And that's is what I want to fix!"

And Again We Will Start Again

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo!!!"

"Back in position, Miss Krüger! Immediately! This stroke doesn't count! I need to start again! How many time had you break from your position? You should received only Baker's Dozen! And now I need to start this paddling again. Which time?"

"Boohoo!!! I... I lost count..."

"Well, it looks like you only makes all the things worse for you! So, back into position, and again we'll start again!"

"Mein Gott!"

Changing Her Mind

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Gott! AUA!!! AUTSCH!!! Mein arme Popo! AUA!!! Please! Stop! AUTSCH!!! I changed my mind! AUA!!! I will prefer if you will call the police! AUTSCH!!!"

"No problem, Miss! After I'll finish your whipping for this trespassing over a private property, I'll call the police, if you're insist!"

"Nein! AUTSCH!!! AUA!!!"

Smart-Ass

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo! AUA!!! This is just unfair! AUTSCH!!!"

"Oh, really? And is it fair to steal the gold from a poor old leprechaun? You got your trophy, Miss Smart-Ass, but I won't stop, until you'll wish to give it back to me, it's own and rightful owner! I can make this German ass of yours smarter and smarter all day long!"

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Gott! AUTSCH!!!"

Stalker

It wasn't simple, but Belinda was purposeful enough to sneak into her favourite British film-star's dressing room without getting caught. But when she took the star by surprise, the celebrity was just enraged and commanded her security and make-up artist to take a proper care about this meddling German stalker. So, next half an hour in the dressing room played out a brand spanking new show, where Belinda became a main star, and the film-star became a spectator, who did really enjoy the view...

Three for the Paddle

 

Good Memory

"Mein Gott! But Herr professor, is this really that necessary?"

"Well, well, well. I see, your German ass still remembers the biting taste of a traditional British cane, Miss Krüger, doesn't it? Yes, this is necessary, young lady! And this time I want to be sure, that you'll remember this lesson every time you'll try to sit down for a couple of days!"

Oxymoron

"AU!!! But this is ridiculous! AU!!! That is an oxymoron! AUA!!!"

"You can call it whatever you will, but you have no right to say, that our traditions are silly! Yes, this holiday calls Old New Year! And here, in Russia, we're celebrating it for a very long time! So, I won't tolerate any jokes about our tardiness or heavy drinking! Ty, naglaya nemetskaya zadnica!"

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo!"

Too Late

"Nein! Please! I can explain! I..."

"It's too late, Miss Krüger! And I will explain you, how I'm dealing with careless employees! Here and now!"

Dress-Code

"Autsch! Mein Popo... Well, I need to agree, that coming to corporative party, wearing just a mini-dress and pantyhose was not very bright idea... Sniff!"

Tourists in Trouble

 

Welcoming

"AUTSCH!!! Mein Popo! But Frau, please! AUTSCH!!! I am just a tourist... AUA!!!"

"Oh, really? Do you think, that gives you a permission to trespass? No, Miss! Let me welcome you on British Land by striping your naughty German ass with this switch in a good old British style!"

"Nein! AUTSCH!!! I am sorry! BAWL!!!"

Are You Sure, You Didn't Forget Anything?

"Are you sure, you didn't forget anything, Miss Krüger?"

"What could I forget, except homework, Herr Professor?"

"Well, first thing - you forgot to raise your skirt and pull down your panties! And second - I need to remind you, that for such a voice you'll get extra swats of the paddle, just like for being not ready for your punishment!"

Not the Best Moment

 

Christmas Tree

 

Clumsy Waitress

Cow and She-Wolf

 

"Cows aren't so helpless, are they, Wolfie? I can't hear you! Should I tan this gray ass of yours, till it'll loose all this wool?"